It's another late night. Almost four a.m. at this point. I think I write when it's late because that's when I'm decompressing and something hits me. A spark.
Many of my thoughts have been focused on relationships recently. Not specifically romantic ones, but primarily. In January I ended a long term relationship with someone that I'm forced continue to deal with on a regular basis. That in itself is enough of a challenge. Just how I was talking about painting being a meaningful struggle, romantic relationships are doubly so. However, that can be said about everything: life. If it wasn't a bitch it wouldn't be worth it. That's why the idea of heaven seems extremely bland.
This recent realization has been extremely beneficial on my outlook. Anything hard, anything that kicks you in the gut, and weighs on your shoulders is given value through the things that balance them. No good without the bad. That makes me smile.
All of these things are on my mind as I work on the new piece. I don't have a name for it yet. I prefer for them to be nondescript. Film makers and actors talk about not giving it all away at once. If you do then you're spent, and you have nothing left to offer, and the audience loses interest.
I recently purchased and iPad. It's an amazing drawing tool and feels very natural. It has made drawing very immediate. No clean up or slew of tools to make sure I have on hand. Because of that I've been drawing more, and had a few commissions. Who doesn't like a little validation every now and then? And it's helped me increase my presence, more art on more screens.
Someone has to advocate me. It might as well be me.
Goodnight / morning.