I typically end up doing most of my writing late at night, when I’m supposed to be trying to fall asleep. My stream of consciousness ends up on paper in a small, faux leather-bound journal I bought at Walgreens. But dumping my random ass thoughts and feelings is not the purpose of this blog. To be honest I’m not one hundred percent sure what the purpose of this blog will be. Obviously it will be about my art. Obviously it will be about my experiences as an artist. But I’ll still have to find my voice as a writer, and I’m still trying to find my voice as an artist.
While I’m typing this up I’m listening to Where is My Mind, covered by Maxine Cyrin on piano. And that’s a good question, one that I ask myself frequently. I seem to move from one obsessive thought to the next, losing myself in them. And I think there are some similarities in my artwork. I move from one concept to the next, without cohesion. I wish I could hold onto one thing and make it mine, but I haven’t. And I don't know if I ever will.
So I end up asking myself “What should I paint/draw?” quite frequently. I think that’s a question that artists who aren't subject monogamists ask themselves a lot. It can be frustrating. Because the challenge is making something worth making. Something that is worth your time and worth your viewers attention and money. But the little voice in my head says fuck the second part of that and just make something worth my time, the other half is indiscernible.
Ok, so what is worth my time? Hmm.. Good question. Life, people, emotions, the bigger part of everything. Rocks, clouds, those are always worth my time. I like rocks. Colors, patterns, also worth my time. So do I draw figures? Landscapes? Do I paint abstract patterns?
The answer is yes. The honest answer is do all of it. Paint and draw and paint some more. The more I think about it the angrier I am that I’m not doing it. So I’m going to stop typing, fall asleep listening to my music, and be in the studio in a few hours.